I am officially blogging!!!!!

Well it's my first official blog...yeah! I have decided to set up a blog as sort of a diary for myself and others to help deal with my RSD. The diagnosis is still fresh, I barely understand a darn thing about it. Just that it is attempting to rule my life (or lack there of, lol), and I am fighting like heck not to allow it. It officially stands for Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (which dr.s say sufferers really have none of the above, not the first weird thing about this you will hear), but my husband says it just means I have a case of the Really Sexy Divas...god bless him, because I really don't have that either. But hey, I'll go with it, because at least he thinks I do :)
RSD is attempting to take all the things I love away. The main thing are my gorgeous daughters. I fought and prayed like heck to have them and now I can barely do a darn thing to take care of them. In fact a month ago I was fighting and crying because I refused to let them spend any time away from me and now I can't stand to even be in the same room as them. And they are gorgeous, I mean seriously, not like how most parents think their kids are goregeous even when they resemble Homer Simpson, I mean I get stopped non-stop because of these kids. I feel like they up my pimp-factor, lol! Plus I used to be a hairstylist and a good one at that. It was the only thing in life I was anal about. I loved it! It filled my creativity tank like crazy! I stopped when I was pregnant with Lydia, I was in too much pain from my back which is what started me down this path. But it was bitter sweet because I was finally a stay at home mom, which in all honesty is all I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be Carol Brady...with much cooler hair...and more dorky, but also more cool....and really laid back, but still goofy with the dumb corny jokes and all that jazz. I set out to be the best darn wife and mother ever....actually like Roseanne (one of my personal favorite t.v. shows) So like a Carol Brady/Roseanne combo. And I was too!! I rocked at it. My life was vieing on perfect. I had a great husband, 2 beautiful kids, a new (and very cute, I might add) house, and 2 smelly cats. Then a couple months after I had Lucy all things changed when the dr.s said I needed a 2nd back surgery because my lower back looked like a grenade exploded on it. And during my spinal fusion I developed RSD.
I am working everyday on staying positive and trying to triumph over this disorder. Some days I lose, some days I win. I know what my future holds as far as becoming paralyzed and handicapped goes, but I figure I am not there yet. I will stay hopeful, besides the dr.s can say this will happen or that will happen but only God knows. So as far as I go it's Sunshine and Rainbows for me...lol!!
I will use this blog to inform everyone about my RSD, if I got into everything in this one blog I'd be blogging for ours and to be perfectly honest my butt (literally) can't handle it. My left butt cheek is tingling and spasming as we speak, er...read..or type. whatever...you get the point. But most importantly I need to journal this journey for me, for you, for RSD. Because (here comes cheesy quote..) I may have RSD but it doesn't have me. Now throw rotten fruit as you please or cheer with a tiny tear flowing down your cheek...I'll except either.
Lots of Love and hugs,
Chrissie