It's me...It's me!!!!

It's me...It's me!!!!

Goofy Miss Lydia

Goofy Miss Lydia
She gets her silliness from me!

Little Miss Lucy

Little Miss Lucy
Totally has my cheeks!

Friday, May 7, 2010

My special girl



My Lydia has always been my special girl. Her nickname is "Dia" which means the light in hindi. And she so is. I've always admired her independence and self-confidence. She is so strong, bright, caring, and funny. I've definately always thought she was "special". Well today we found out that she is extraordinarily special. My baby has autism. The evaluator that came today has been researching, studying and working with autism for over 20 years. She was very informative and really brought Lydia's truth to light. Her autism effects her social, problem solving, and verbal skills. They talked a lot today about Lydia's world and how it takes a lot to enter it. I have always tried to force my way in, trying to play with her, talk to her, read to her, snuggle her. But it's usually a rarity and always on her terms. I think what breaks my heart the most that as her mother I want to be completely infiltrated in her world, but she doesn't know how to let me in. And also she can't tell me what she needs or wants. She can't really verbalize it and she doesn't know how to gesture for it. Her autism affects her problem solving skills to the point where she doesn't know to reach out to me for help, she feels the need to figure everything out on her own. So she grows frustrated very easily when she can't. Lydia also is hesitant to associate with anyone she can't "figure out". That is why Lucy is pretty much a ghost to her and she wants nothing to do with animals. For her they are all too unpredictable.



I was offered two different programs for her. An autism based program and developmental delay program. The evaluator said most parents who find out their toddlers have autism, they choose the developmental delay program because it is more vague and some of the parents just arn't ready to accept the diagnosis and don't want to deal with it at such a young age. So they'd rather their child be in the delay program and revisit the autism diagnosis after a few years of being worked with in all areas. The autism program is more focused on specific areas of delay due to autsim specifically. And when she is 3 after a year of one-on-one therapies she'd go to a special needs preschool program. So after being told the pros and cons of both, I decided on the autism program. I figure I can't just go about pretending that this isn't part of her. So I am embracing this head on and I want it handled immediately. I figure much like my illness early detection and treatment could only be the most beneficial. Not to mention, I am very much about raising little individuals. There is no "norm" for how I want my girls raised. I want to embrace and support all aspects of them while offering moral guidelines and values. So I choose to love her because of this and not in-spite of this. Autism is a hard pill to swallow but this is part of who she is, and that's okay. I am sure that she will overcome the hardships associated with it and become the bright, creative, expressive child that I know and love. Her differences will enhance her life not hinder it. I will keep everyone updated as therapies progress. And I do believe in trusting this program and I believe that they have her best interests at heart. I am not much one to go with eastern medicine, I am an "all american" type and trust in her doctors and therapists. I know some people feel differently and that's okay. But I am hoping people let me do what I feel is best for my daughter, I am her mother and I will follow my instincts. It's been a long stressful week with Lydia's diagnosis and mine as well. I need to just stay focused on her development and not get too stressed out. Because if I get increasingly worse what good am I gonna be to my girls?



So as I mentioned a bit ago Dr. Hess met with me this week to go over my test results and went over my treatment plans. He is going to move forward with treating me for a severe case of Fibro and RSD. Right now he adjusted my meds again and we are going to see how I respond to these. He also said what I do at home is just as important as the meds. So I need to rest as much as possible and try to find comfort as much as possible, but I need to still be moving. And that's why he wan'ts me to find comfort as much as possible. I have been spending a lot of time in bed when I am not taking care of the girls. I need to find some relief. I can no longer go to water therapy because I don't have a ride. (I still can't drive obviously). The other very imperative thing to my treatment is my stress levels. RSd is so exacerbated by stress and emotions that I need to constantly keep things in check. And I am a worry wart by nature and Dr. hess said I am naturally going to be in a lot of physical stress just due to high pain levels and being so sick. So I need to try not to add to it. Even if I start crying a little bit, the pain is instantly heightened, which usually makes me want to cry more. So I need to keep all of these things in mind as I go about life as usual.

So bottom line is we still need prayers and continued support. And I want to thank all of you that have been so wonderful during this difficult time. It's nice to know that there are some people out there that just have your back no matter what during a time where insecurity breeds second guessing and constant stress. So, I hope everyone is doing well and keeping warm. Much love and soft hugs!!!

Chrissie

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad and so proud of you for choosing to go with the autism program. Lydia is a very lucky girl to have parents that love and embrace her the way you and Chintan do. I have mixed feelings about this whole thing. Obviously I am sad that Lydia has autism, but I am so happy that it was detected so early. She is an amazing little girl and now, while you learn different ways to help her learn and grow, hopefully she will let you into her world more and more. You have my full support, sweetie!

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